Dirty Judge (Dirty Series Book 4) by Sarah Bailey

Author:Sarah Bailey [Bailey, Sarah]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Twisted Tree Publications
Published: 2020-10-04T23:00:00+00:00

Chapter Seven

Matilda

I almost jumped out of his bed. Not because I was alarmed by what he’d said, just shocked. So shocked I hadn’t said a word in at least five minutes. To his credit, he’d let me stare at him, waiting for me to react. I couldn’t wrap my head around it. He never acted as though he was remotely interested in me the entire time we’d known each other. I thought he was nice to me because I was Annie’s friend, but now I was looking at things through completely different lenses and all I had was questions only he could answer.

“How long?”

His expression grew pained, but he didn’t look away from me.

“I’ve always liked you, but I know that’s not what you’re asking me.”

No, I was asking him how long he’d wanted me in a manner that wasn’t quite acceptable for a man his age to want a younger girl. I was pretty damn sure he’d been a man when he had those types of feelings towards me.

“You’d just turned sixteen the first time I realised I couldn’t look at you like you were a little girl any longer. And trust me when I say I wish I’d never looked at you like that when you were that young. The year before my parents moved away was so fucking hard. Every time I came home, you were there and I wanted you more than I’d ever wanted anyone in my life. You’d spent so long looking up at me like you adored me, I knew if I did anything, you’d be receptive to it, but I couldn’t. I was seven years older than you and you were Annie’s best friend. It wasn’t right. I couldn’t justify it no matter how much I wanted you to be mine.”

I swallowed. Things started to click into place for me. The way he’d avoid looking at me when he was visiting his parents and Annie. How he stopped talking to me and left me thinking I’d done something to annoy him. The thing is, I didn’t give a shit if he looked at me that way when I was sixteen and he’d been twenty-three. He’d never done anything to me. He’d kept his distance. So to me, it didn’t matter at all, but I could see it did to him. The guilt in his eyes tore at me.

“You should know I’ve always been yours.”

He frowned.

“Tilly…”

“No, I’m being serious. Do you think I care how old I was? Let me assure you, I don’t. This changes absolutely nothing. I’m more shocked by you liking me than anything else. I always thought you saw me as your little sister’s annoying friend.”

“I’ve never thought you were annoying. You were always so sweet, smart and funny. Annie, on the other hand, was a pain in the arse.”

I had to smile at that. Annie was always driving him absolutely crazy and roping me into helping her play tricks on him.

He still looked as though all the guilt was eating him up inside.

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